Guest post by Julie Aird

Have you ever felt exhausted after a vacation with family or friends?

Have you had some of your worst arguments with your loved ones on vacation when you were supposed to be having a good time together?

Have you tried to make everyone else happy on vacation, but sacrificed your own well-being as an HSP?

Well, that was me.  Until this year, when I learned I could thrive, not just survive, a week-long family vacation of theme parks!

My teenage son loves roller coasters, and started riding them at an early age.  He always wanted to ride the tallest ones he could, as soon as he reached the height requirements.  He loves the feeling of the wind, the thrill, and no roller coaster is too scary for him.  For years we had annual passes to the best roller coaster parks in our state. We live in California and after he had ridden all the roller coasters here many times, he researched roller coasters all over the U.S. and the world, and dreamt about visiting them.  He even planned several itineraries to different parts of the country and asked us if we would take him on one of these trips.

My husband and I only have one son, and we have always done our best to support his dreams.  So, even though a week of roller coasters was not our first pick for a vacation, we decided to do it, and planned an eight-day trip to the Southern part of the U.S., visiting roller coaster parks in 3 different states.  The itinerary consisted entirely of air travel, driving, and theme parks days.   

A few weeks before our trip, however, everything was canceled due to the Coronavirus.  It was so disappointing for him.  But we promised we’d still take him on this trip once it was safe to travel.  And after a two year wait, we were able to take the trip this year.

During the pandemic, I also discovered that I’m an HSP.  I found Julie Bjelland’s website and scored very high on her sensitivity quiz.  I joined her Sensitive Empowerment Community and took a couple of her online courses.  Learning I was an HSP helped me make sense of so many things in my life.  I now understood why I was the way I was, and I realized there wasn’t anything wrong with me, which I had always thought before.  As I began to take better care of my sensitive self, I became so much more peaceful, calm and balanced. 

But now when I thought about a week of traveling to theme parks, I wasn’t very excited about it.  Not only do roller coasters make me nauseous (I’d be mostly watching, not riding), as an HSP, theme parks are over stimulating and exhausting.  Even if I don’t ride any rides.  The long day, the crowds, the screams and loud music, the sun and the heat, and the junk food all contribute to me not having a good time.

But I didn’t want to go back on my promise to my son.  I wanted to see how we could make this work.  And not just survive it, enjoy it!  My husband and son knew about my high sensitivity by now.  I’d been sharing a lot with them as I had been learning about it.  So, I asked them if we could create a trip that worked for all of us and they agreed.  In my work as a coach, I am always encouraging my clients to create win-win situations in their life.  This was an opportunity for me to do the same.

The first thing we did was review the itinerary. We had originally planned 5 theme parks, but realized that would mean additional driving after theme parks days, which now seemed too much.  We decided to take one park out, which meant we’d only have one activity per day, either go to a theme park or drive.  That allowed us a little more time to take some scenic routes, for example, through the Smoky Mountains, which was something I would really enjoy. 

Next, we looked at the attractions at the theme parks.  Two of them were strictly roller coaster parks, with no other attractions.  The other two had live music, dance shows, gardens and animals to see.  Those were the ones that interested me.  I asked my husband and son if they’d be okay if I only joined them for those two parks, and the other days they could go on their own, giving them some special father/son time.  They were on board, so that meant I had two whole days, one in North Carolina, and one in Virginia, to do what I wanted! 

I eagerly began to plan.  I love visiting botanical gardens and parks, as well as historic homes.  I knew there would be different flowers, plants and architecture in the South than what we have in our state, so that interested me.  One thing I’ve learned about HSPs is that we take in our experiences deeply, so being in nature and observing art is very fulfilling for us. 

Once the trip began, I was so excited about my two special days to myself.  In North Carolina, I walked through a beautiful botanical garden on a university campus, and toured a neighborhood of Victorian homes.  In Virginia, I visited a large historical estate, where I enjoyed a self-guided tour of the opulent residence, as well as the expansive grounds, which included gardens, a waterfall, and a large pond with turtles.  I took in all the beauty at these places and it was very satisfying.

One thing I love to do is walk a labyrinth.  A labyrinth is a meditative tool representing a journey to our own center and then back out into the world. I have had many enriching experiences walking them, and I was curious to see if there were any labyrinths where we’d be going.  After researching, I found there were several.  So, one evening after dinner, my husband and I walked a labyrinth at a nearby church, surrounded by a beautiful garden and the sound of soothing wind chimes.  It was a peaceful way to end our day. 

I really enjoyed the theme parks I visited, especially Dollywood.  The bluegrass and inspirational music, the gardens, and the friendly employees made the day special.  In fact, I had heard Dolly Parton speak of herself as a sensitive person, and I could see that was reflected in the atmosphere of the park.  It was more enjoyable than many other theme parks I’ve visited.

The second theme park I visited was Busch-Gardens, Williamsburg.  They offered live music and dance shows, as well as animal exhibits, which I enjoyed.  However, the music they played in the park was quite loud, even with the earplugs I wore.  I was a little drained afterwards.  So it wasn’t entirely perfect.  But that was okay.  I had been taking care of myself that week, so I wasn’t nearly as exhausted as I would normally be.  

When we left the park that night, we drove straight to dinner, and sought a quiet table in a nearby restaurant.  Since being in the Sensitive Empowerment Community, I have learned how to navigate the noise in restaurants.  Sometimes I ask for a quieter table, or we sit outside.  I will even ask our server to turn down the music if it’s too loud.  I used to not ask for these things, but I do now, and it makes it easier for me to enjoy the meal and my family without as much stimulation.  Our dinners were a highlight that week, because I got to hear all about my son’s roller coaster conquests each day. 

Having a respite to return to after our theme parks days was essential.  Spending a little more money to have more space and privacy was worth it.  Our first hotel was our least expensive accommodation, and it ended up being louder than we’d hoped.  But in Tennessee, we rented a cabin in the woods, and in Virginia, a Victorian home, both of which were spacious and quiet.  We even had our own rooms, which helped us get very restful sleep.

I also brought my current crochet project on our trip.  Having a creative outlet is centering and grounding for me, as I know it is for many HSPs.  I enjoyed crocheting in the evenings, especially in Tennessee where I sat in a rocking chair on our back porch, listening to the sound of a nearby stream. 

We purposely rented a full-size car so that we’d have ample space during our travel days. When we needed to drive for several hours, it worked best for me if we had some quiet time in the car.  I communicated this to my family, and they were supportive.  My son wore his headphones and thankfully my husband was fine to have some breaks from talking.

I was intentional about listening to myself that week, and when I started to feel overwhelmed, I would tune into my heart.  I would then do what I needed to take care of myself, or communicate it, if need be.  In the past, I didn’t always communicate my needs on vacation, and I would end up becoming irritable and cranky, or just explode.  I didn’t do that on this trip.   I was catching myself way before that point.  Ever since I’ve started to take better care of my sensitive self, and my husband and son see how much more balanced and content I am, they want to support me.

All in all, it was a great trip. And as we flew home, I felt so grateful that I thrived, not just survived, this family vacation!  Here are the things I learned and offer to you as you plan your next vacation with family or friends:

1.      Be honest about what you want to do on your vacation.  Is the itinerary enjoyable for everyone?

2.      Be aware of your needs throughout each day of the trip.  Listen to your heart about what you need, and let go of any guilt about doing something different than the rest of the group.

3.      Communicate what you need in a clear and loving way.  You don’t have to fight to get what you want, but you don’t have to give in either.

4.      Everyone has a better time when we take care of ourselves as HSPs.  If we are happy and enjoying ourselves, it ripples out to all our traveling companions, and the positivity is felt by all.

Are you looking for more fulfillment as a sensitive soul?  Click here to learn more

Julie Aird is an inspirational speaker, an ICF-credentialed coach, a spiritual director, and the Founder of Julie Aird Life Coaching. She is also the host of the Heart-Led Living podcast. 

Driven by her own journey of finding fulfillment within, Julie works with highly sensitive women who have pursued happiness in their career, relationships and family, but are not feeling satisfied.  Through powerful energetic and heart-led practices, inner child work, and mindset coaching, Julie’s clients experience a profound awakening to an abiding sense of peace and fulfillment within. 

Julie lives in Mission Viejo, California, with her husband, Steve, and her son, Jacob.  Julie can be found at: https://julieaird.com/ 

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Julie Bjelland is a psychotherapist specializing in high sensitivity, Author of The Empowered Highly Sensitive Person, host of The HSP Podcast, and founder of the Sensitive Empowerment Community. Her books, blog, online courses, and free Webinars have helped thousands of highly sensitive people (HSPs) worldwide reduce their challenges, access their gifts, and discover their significant value to thrive to their fullest potential. Her HSPs in Heart-Centered Business Group connects and supports HSP healers and practitioners. Julie loves connecting in her Sensitive Empowerment Community and warmly invites you to join this positive, safe, and welcoming space. JulieBjelland.com❤️🌈❤️ (she/her)