Self-Care and Caretaking: A Guide for the Highly Sensitive by Julie Bjelland, LMFT

Balancing self-care needs with caretaking responsibilities is a profound challenge, particularly for those of us who are highly sensitive, experience emotions more intensely, and are more acutely aware of our surroundings and the needs of others. The dual role of caring for a loved one while managing our own heightened sensitivity requires a thoughtful approach to self-care. Here are strategies tailored to help maintain their well-being while fulfilling caretaking duties:

1. Understand Your Limits

As an HSP, it's crucial to recognize your physical, emotional, and mental boundaries. Acknowledge that your sensory input and emotional processing capacity differ and require management. Understanding these limits helps you set realistic expectations and communicate your needs to others. 

This isn't easy, for sure. I know I find myself wanting to be able to do more, but my body breaks down (usually illness) if I keep pushing. Listening to my body cues helps me know when I need to rest. 

2. Create a Personalized Self-Care Routine

Identify activities that nourish your soul and incorporate them into your daily routine. This could include quiet time alone, engaging in creative outlets, or spending time in nature. Your self-care routine should be non-negotiable, akin to an appointment you can't miss.

It's so easy to skip this when we are busy caring for someone in need, yet it depletes us if we do. When I rushed off to the hospital early every morning, I skipped my slow mornings and sunrise routine, and I realized I really needed it. It's my medicine, so I had to be sure to incorporate my own self-care if I am going to stay well. 

3. Establish Boundaries

Setting clear boundaries is essential for HSPs to avoid overstimulation and burnout. Communicate your needs to those you care for and anyone else involved. It’s okay to say no or delegate tasks to preserve your energy.

I've been working on delegating a few things (like having the grandkids call my mom in the evenings) and prioritizing what I can and others can do. 

4. Schedule Downtime

Ensure you have scheduled periods of rest or downtime throughout your day, even if it's just a few minutes to breathe deeply or meditate. This can help reset your nervous system and prevent sensory overload.

A must for sure! I need so much downtime to stay well. 

5. Seek Support

Don't hesitate to reach out for support from friends, family, or professional caregivers who can provide a sense of community and understanding, reminding you that you're not alone. Here's our HSP Practitioners Directory too. 

I've got a support system in place, and receiving that support really fills up my tank. I'm so grateful I'm at the stage in life that knows how to ask for and receive support. 

6. Energy & Sensory Health Management

Prioritize Tasks & Reduce Sensory Overload: Focus on what's essential and minimize sensory inputs to conserve energy. This approach is crucial during stressful times.

Restorative Activities: Engage in calming activities like quiet walks outside around nature. These activities are vital for mental and physical well-being.

Minimize Sensory Input: Use earplugs to reduce auditory overload in noisy environments. I've been experimenting with these calmer earplugs that allow you to hear what you need but reduce the intensity of external sounds. 

Simplify Responsibilities: Consider services for routine tasks (e.g., grocery delivery, cleaning) to lighten your load. Use centralized communication platforms, like Caring Bridge, to update loved ones about health situations, reducing the need for repeated conversations.

These strategies help manage your energy more efficiently and maintain focus on priorities during challenging periods.

7. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness and meditation can be incredibly beneficial for HSPs, helping to manage stress, anxiety, and emotional overwhelm. Regular practice can enhance your ability to stay present and grounded, even in challenging situations.

Having meditation on hand helps a lot. I particularly love using them before I go to sleep to help me transition into a state of relaxation. Sleep is so important, and stress can often disrupt it. 

Here are some free meditations I created in case you find them supportive. 

8. Embrace Flexibility

While routines are important, being too rigid can lead to additional stress. Embrace flexibility in how you approach both caretaking and self-care. Some days might require adjusting your expectations and adapting to the moment's needs.

I've also learned I have to listen to where my body is, and if I need to shorten the day or take a day off for rest, I need to be flexible about that, too.  Sometimes, needs change daily and sometimes minute by minute, so thinking of just one day at a time is helpful. 

9. Nurture Your Physical Health

Most people tend to let go of their regular self-care during times of high stress, but maintaining physical health through regular exercise, a nutritious diet, and adequate sleep is crucial. Physical well-being directly impacts emotional resilience and your capacity to handle stress.

10. Reflect and Reassess Regularly

Take time to reflect on your experiences, feelings, and the effectiveness of your strategies. Regular reassessment allows you to adjust your self-care and caretaking approaches, ensuring they serve you and your loved one well.

Keep assessing your priorities and your own health and self-care needs. If you get overwhelmed, talk it over with your loved ones to clarify what needs immediate attention and what can wait.  

For HSPs, caretaking, while deeply important, can also be particularly draining. Balancing your needs with those of your loved one requires patience, self-compassion, and a proactive approach to self-care. Remember, caring for yourself is not selfish but necessary, enabling you to be present and supportive of those you love.

Sleep Product Recommendations

Because good sleep is essential and sometimes harder when stressed, I’ve included some of my favorite sensory product recommendations. Explore favorite sensory soothing sleep products.

Add more ideas to the comments below! This could be a good resource for ideas for those trying to find balance in these areas. 

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Julie Bjelland, LMFT, is a Licensed Psychotherapist, author, and visionary founder of Sensitive Empowerment. A pioneer in high sensitivity and neurodiversity, renowned for developing innovative, easy-to-implement tools that balance the sensitive nervous system, reduce challenges and help individuals reach their fullest potential so they may excel in their unique talents. Julie has created a global hub of extensive support, including online courses, the Sensitive Empowerment community—a nurturing sanctuary—a globally top-ranked podcast, articles, free webinars, and more. Her passion lies in helping to create a world where differences are embraced as strengths and celebrated. Learn more at JulieBjelland.com