Feeling Flawed: A Common Experience for the Sensitive and Neurodivergent by Julie Bjelland, LMFT

Feeling Flawed in a Conforming Society

As highly sensitive or neurodivergent individuals, many of us grow up feeling inherently flawed. This sense of inadequacy often stems from societal conditioning that dictates we must fit into a specific, rigid box. When our natural ways of being are not accepted or understood, it’s no wonder we walk around thinking something is wrong with us.

How many times have you heard the words, "Why are you so sensitive?" or "What's wrong with you?" or "Grow a thicker skin," or "You are dramatic," or "You are too much," or "You are not enough"? These phrases reinforce the harmful belief that being sensitive or different is synonymous with being flawed.

Society's message that everyone should conform to a uniform standard leaves little room for the diverse ways people experience and interact with the world. This pressure to conform can lead to isolation, self-doubt, and a persistent belief that we are somehow defective.

The Impact on Daily Life

Feeling flawed impacts every aspect of life:

• Self-Esteem: Constantly feeling out of place can severely damage self-esteem and self-worth.

• Relationships: Struggles with self-acceptance can make forming and maintaining healthy relationships challenging.

• Career: Fear of not fitting in can hinder career advancement and job satisfaction.

• Mental Health: Chronic stress, anxiety, and depression are common among those who feel pressured to hide their true selves.

The Need for Acceptance

In reality, our differences are essential. They bring unique perspectives, creativity, and innovation to the world. Society, just like nature, thrives on diversity, and recognizing this can help shift the narrative from conformity to acceptance and celebration of individual differences.

Embracing Our True Selves

We must start by embracing our true selves to overcome the feeling of being flawed. This means:

• Self-Acceptance: Acknowledge and accept our sensitivities and neurodiversity as strengths.

• Community: Connect with others with similar experiences to find support and understanding. I created the Sensitive Empowerment Community because sensitive people needed a private, safe place to spend time with each other without exposure to the harmful effects of unmoderated social media.

• Advocacy: Advocate for more inclusive environments that celebrate rather than suppress diversity.

Feeling flawed as a highly sensitive or neurodivergent individual directly results from societal pressure to conform. By embracing our differences and advocating for acceptance, we can dismantle the harmful notion that we must fit into a specific box. In doing so, we pave the way for a world that values and celebrates diversity, allowing everyone to thrive.

For more resources and support for highly sensitive and neurodivergent individuals, visit HSPresources.com. This site offers a wealth of information, tools, and community connections to help you embrace your unique traits and navigate life's challenges with greater ease and confidence.

Does this resonate with you? Share in the comments below!

Julie Bjelland, LMFT

Licensed Psychotherapist, author, and founder of Sensitive Empowerment, specializing in high sensitivity and adult-diagnosed autism in women. I love developing tools that balance our sensitive nervous system, reduce challenges, and help us reach our fullest potential so we may excel in our unique talents. I’ve created a global hub of extensive support, including online courses, the Sensitive Empowerment Community—a nurturing sanctuary—a globally top-ranked podcast, articles, free webinars, and more. My passion is helping create a world where differences are embraced as strengths and celebrated. Learn more at JulieBjelland.com

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