What if Being Lonely and Sensitive Is Actually Your Beacon Home?

Guest Blog by Carol Roesler

The pain of loneliness and being labeled “too sensitive” has been the main theme for me since I was a little girl, adopted into a family where I was the only sensitive person.  I can palpably remember the feeling of my childhood - how I felt like I didn’t belong amongst the extreme personalities and constant unrelenting chaos in our house.  The only place I felt safe was when I was alone.  I was a quiet "latchkey kid” - walking home alone from elementary school and letting myself into a house that was dark, cold and silent.  My adopted mom was often locked in her bedroom with a migraine or emotionally shut down for hours.  I liked the quiet though, it felt somehow soothing and safe to me. After being at a busy, noisy school with kids running around the playground and enduring chaotic classrooms all day, I craved that silence & stillness.  Do you find the stillness of being alone the only time you feel safe and at peace too? 

Growing up, my three “real family members" were were my sweet grey cat named Pebble who would sit on my lap and purr while we shared a piece of cinnamon toast, my books from the library that I would get lost in for hours, and the moon.  I loved looking up at the moon at night. It seemed so magical. My Dad told me my first word was “moon” and I think I felt a deep kinship because it seemed like it was happy in the night sky all alone too. 

The thing about the moon that was different from me is that it had stars twinkling nearby around it.  Some were bright and some were faintly sparkling in that vast dark sky.  The moon never called those stars “too bright” or “too much” for shining with different qualities of light. And it seemed to me like the stars enjoyed basking in the unique moonlight that only the moon could make - its “Superpower.”  I did not realize back then that I also had “Superpowers”...

“Sensitive” is often perceived in our society as a “bad” quality, that our innate sensitivities are “too much”  - something to be eradicated out of us so we can “get a tougher shell” and not “feel so much.”  That was the message sent to me as a child by my parents and for decades after from the people I placed myself around.  But, finally, as I got into my mid 50’s and started to learn about being an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person), I began to understand a profound new truth: What if being sensitive could actually be my strength?  What if all the specific things we are extra sensitive about are actually our unique “Superpowers”?

What if there was a place where you could go where you would be cherished, celebrated and deeply understood for those “Superpowers"?

The Sensitive Empowerment Community is this place.  I found it while I was living alone in an “empty nest” with my daughter a freshman at her new University, and myself alone after fleeing from yet another toxic relationship where the person I chose did not value my sensitivities.  Joining The Sensitive Empowerment Community is where I finally felt I was home. And safe.  It is where I go to thrive every day now - to simply be myself and infuse myself with kind sharing and fascinating, uplifting conversations between other highly sensitive souls.  

I recently had the honor of hosting a very special episode of our founder Julie Bjelland’s “The Sensitive and Neurodivergent Podcast” celebrating the 6th year anniversary of our Sensitive Empowerment Community. If you would like to experience the joy and warmth of this feeling of safety and acceptance, I invite you to make a soothing cup of tea, sit in a comfy chair and hear straight from other sensitive souls who share about how they, too, finally found their safe place to be seen, heard, and deeply valued (I will put the link for podcast episode for you at the end of this blog post).

We have wonderful groups within our Sensitive Empowerment Community that help us create that rare feeling of deep connection we had been searching for all our lives as highly sensitive people.  We also have joyful events each month and the opportunity to create friendships around the world. I now have cherished friends from places like Australia, Romania, Canada, England and all over the country where I live, The United States.  

Here is what one of our founding community members shared about what it has meant to her to be part of our Sensitive Empowerment Community: 

“It has been an honor and a gift to be part of this community.  It has provided deep friendships, much learning and sharing, a deep sense of belonging and deep gratitude for all the ways it has helped me grow and learn in so many ways.  I really appreciate how this community has grown over the years in so many directions and visions to become such a deep part of my life.  A safe, sacred haven to land and be accepted for who I am while meeting and interacting with, getting to know and stretched by so many beautiful souls who fill my heart with such gratitude.”   — Karen

Here’s a quote my sensitive daughter and I love that helped us survive her high school years searching for authentic friendships: 

“You may be too much for some people.  Those are not your people.” 

I invite you to join me, Karen and all the other unique and sensitive souls from all age groups and backgrounds all over the world that make up this caring family. Our Sensitive Empowerment Community is like no other social network community out there.  Our founder, Julie Bjelland LMFT, set it up to be a rare haven of privacy, security and safety - there are no advertisements, no one is allowed to “sell anything” to each other or discuss upsetting “hot-button” topics.  It is a bastion of kindness, gentleness and uplifting friendships where everyone openly shares our sensitive “Superpowers.”  This openness creates validation for how we all uniquely operate in the world and a sense of deep connection.  

I look forward to getting to know you in our Sensitive Empowerment Community and welcoming you to my chosen family that lifts me up every day and makes me feel seen, heard and valued for all my sensitivities.  Please come join us so we can get to know your unique one-of-a-kind “Superpowers” and celebrate them with you! 

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Carol Roesler is co-author of the new children’s book series, The Adventures of Niko, the Highly Sensitive Dog and co-hosts “Intuitive Parenting” events inside the Sensitive Empowerment Community to support caregivers of sensitive little ones. As a volunteer Children's Librarian leading pre-K through 5th-grade reading groups, she often wished for books with characters that reflected the unique traits of bright, sensitive children. An introverted child, Carol’s favorite books were her best friends, inspiring the character Buttercup. Buttercup’s passion for research was inspired by Carol’s daughter, whose literary explorations discovered the unique, joyful dance of the blue-footed booby. This inspired the wonderfully extroverted character Blueberry. Carol is thrilled to collaborate with Julie in creating characters that celebrate being their authentic, unique selves! Get the book at juliebjelland.com/childrens-books

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Listen to the Episode: Celebrating Six Years of Connection in the Sensitive Empowerment Community

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