Being Brave with Boundaries by Andrea Weber

Guest Article by Andrea Weber

Regardless of who we are, where we are or what we’ve achieved to this point, we all start with what we have right here, right now.

When we begin to practice self-care, the need for setting healthy boundaries is always raised.  Initially, when we’re figuring out what it all means and what we need, we’re more than likely to be somewhat uncomfortable with this concept, especially if we’re in relationships with high expectations. 

Setting boundaries with family members is a brave move.  We are nurturing and looking after our needs by setting constructive boundaries around what we will and won’t accept in terms of our energy, our time and our levels of stress.  When families can see the difference this makes to our wellbeing and how present we are, they will soon realize the benefits.

Children who see their parents actively advocating for their needs in this way are more likely to create these boundaries for themselves as adults and lead happier and more fulfilling lives.

When I look back on my own childhood, I can certainly see this with my own parents, particularly my mother who has always been so giving of her time, often putting the needs of others ahead of her own.  She has the kindest of hearts but I sometimes wonder whether her choices would have been different if she had access to some of the self-care tools we have today.

The choices we make matter, not only for ourselves but for our families as well.

Discovering this can lead to a sense of guilt and regret of things that ‘should have’ and ‘could have’ happened differently.  If we can accept that we’ve done the very best we can with the knowledge we had at the time, we’re able to show ourselves and others self-compassion and understanding.

Setting boundaries with our children can be challenging.  We are learning and so are they.  There’s no golden rulebook to fit every child-parent relationship and if both you and your child identify as HSP, creating calm and patience is essential for moving through everyday life. 

Taking the free Sensitivity Quiz is a quick and easy way to see if you have the HSP trait. If your child is too young to take independently, doing the quiz yourself will give a good indication of whether your child may identify with the trait as well.

I’m learning to listen more and ask for help in creating this calm and balance.  HSP teenagers especially will benefit from this as they take on new experiences and identify their comfort zones.  It’s about recognizing triggers for sensory overload and removing these when and where we can.

We can’t always anticipate events and if a situation arises that’s less than ideal, even something as simple as leaving the house stressed for time, it might be wise to call it quits on something you’d planned until this calm and balance can be restored.  If this isn’t possible, taking some time out to pause and reflect on the situation may help.

As an environmentally sensitive person, I know how important it is to keep our stress levels as low as possible. There are, of course, many aspects to an environmental sensitivity. Extra internal stress certainly doesn’t help our system cope with the array of external stressors that trigger physical symptoms.  When there’s nothing in the tank and we’re depleted, run down and exhausted, we’re less likely to have resilience to the cumulative effects of exposure to things like eme (electromagnetic energy), chemicals, mold, lighting and noise.

Setting healthy boundaries is an essential self-care practice and as we realize and understand the benefits, it becomes a much more accessible tool for all of us to use.  Being brave with boundaries brings balance and personal wellbeing not only to ourselves but also to those we love and cherish. 

The HSP Brain Training Course has an abundance of practical tips, tools and techniques for bringing self-care into our daily routines, including advocating for our needs, listening to our intuition and setting boundaries. The course and other valuable resources can be found here.

Andrea Weber created Expansive Happiness to inspire and encourage those managing environmental sensitivities and to raise much needed public awareness around these conditions. 

“My aim is to help those who are sensitive stop struggling and really start living.” 

Although environmentally sensitive for some time, Andrea has only recently discovered that she also has the HSP trait which has brought personal understanding, compassion and acceptance.

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Julie Bjelland is a Psychotherapist, host of The HSP Podcast, and Founder of the Sensitive Empowerment Community, whose mission is to create a paradigm shift where sensitivity is embraced, valued, and honored. Register for free Masterclasses, get a free guide to calm your brain, a letter to give your medical and mental health practitioners about high sensitivity and take the Sensitivity Quiz at JulieBjelland.com ❤️🌈❤️ (she/her)