Breaking Free from Perfection: Embracing Your Authentic Self by Julie Bjelland, LMFT

Recently, I stumbled upon an excerpt from a book that resonated deeply, and I knew I had to share it with you all. It goes like this:

"We create an image of how we should be in order to be accepted by everybody. We especially try to please the ones who love us, like Mom and Dad, big brothers and sisters, the priests, and the teacher. Trying to be good enough for them, we create an image of perfection, but we don't fit this image. We create this image, but this image is not real. We are never going to be perfect from this point of view. Never!"

Reading this passage hit home for me, and I imagine it might for many of you as well. As sensitive and neurodivergent individuals, we often feel the pressure to mold ourselves into an ideal that society or our loved ones expect from us. We strive to meet these expectations, believing that in doing so, we will find acceptance and love. But as the excerpt poignantly points out, this image of perfection is unattainable, and, more importantly, it's not real.

I remember a time when I was constantly chasing this mirage of perfection. Every day felt like a performance, and I had to get everything right—my emotions, reactions, achievements—to feel like I belonged. But no matter how hard I tried, I always felt like I was falling short. I was exhausted, not just physically but emotionally and mentally.

For us, this struggle is even more profound. Our heightened sensitivity makes us acutely aware of others' expectations and emotions. We absorb them like sponges, often at the cost of our own well-being. The quest for perfection can become an all-consuming endeavor, leaving little room for self-compassion or authenticity.

But here's the liberating truth: we don't have to be perfect to be loved or accepted. In fact, our true beauty lies in our authenticity, in embracing our imperfections and sensitivities. It's in being who we genuinely are, without the masks and facades, that we find real connection and fulfillment.

This journey of self-acceptance isn't easy. It requires us to unlearn the ingrained beliefs that tell us we must be perfect to be worthy. It involves recognizing our intrinsic value, independent of external validation. And most importantly, it means giving ourselves the grace to be imperfectly human.

If this resonates with you, I invite you to join me in exploring these themes further through a self-paced course called Your Self-Discovery Journey. Designed specifically for HSPs and neurodivergent individuals, it offers tools and insights to help you embrace your sensitivity as a strength rather than a liability. Together, we can navigate this path toward self-acceptance and find the freedom of being authentically ourselves.

Let's embark on this journey together, shedding the weight of perfection and discovering the power of our true selves.

I’m Julie Bjelland, LMFT, a Highly Sensitive, Autistic, LGBTQ+, Licensed Psychotherapist, author, and founder of Sensitive Empowerment, specializing in high sensitivity and adult-diagnosed autism in women. I love developing tools that balance our sensitive nervous system, reduce challenges, and help us reach our fullest potential so we may excel in our unique talents. I’ve created a global hub of extensive support, including a #1 new release children’s book for the sensitive and neurodivergent, online courses, the Sensitive Empowerment Community—a nurturing sanctuary—the Autistic Women’s Group, a globally top-ranked podcast, articles, free webinars, and more. My passion is helping create a world where differences are embraced as strengths and celebrated. Learn more at JulieBjelland.com.