Preventing Suicide in Highly Sensitive People

When I hear about someone dying by suicide and learn their story, I often observe them to have been tender-hearted, beautiful, sensitive souls.  I imagine they might not have known there are gifts in their sensitivity and ways to lessen the challenges.  They might not have known that so many sensitive people exist in the world and that they are not alone.  They might have received messages that something is wrong with their sensitivity. They might have felt misunderstood.  So many of us, as sensitive people, have felt that.  

I am particularly impacted by the news that someone has died by suicide because I have had those dark moments myself in my life and know there is a way through.  I know many sensitive people have felt those dark moments, and we need to talk about it.

If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide, I know that with the right support, it can get better even if you feel convinced it can’t. I have felt the pain of deep darkness, survived it, and found joy again, and I know you can too.  

As highly sensitive people, we can feel things so deeply that when we are in a particularly dark season, it can get even more magnified.  

I’ve been to those places where I completely convinced myself that everyone would be better off without me. I believed that I would never feel better. I believed that the pain was more than I could bear and that I would find relief if I just ended my life.  

We can’t always tell that someone is ok just by looking at them. We are often taught to smile and pretend everything is okay even when it isn’t. We need to check on each other and take it seriously when someone says they aren’t ok.  It can be hard to talk about this subject because it carries so much pain. 

If you are worried about someone, you might think you would plant ideas in their head to ask them if they are having thoughts of suicide, but the pain grows in silence. We need to talk about the piercing pain of darkness because we need to be able to tell each other that it can get better and it will pass and that you can feel joy in living again.  

When I look at trees that have lost all their leaves in the winter, they look like they wouldn’t come back from that.  But these little sprouts emerge after a while, and then these beautiful leaves grow.  Just like in the cycle of nature, we can find ourselves in dark places. None of us are meant to bloom all the time. But nature teaches us that life emerges again.  

As someone who came close to suicide in the past, I have much to say to someone thinking about suicide. I know that magnetic pull of darkness. I’ve been to those places that truly believed everyone would be better off without me and that I would NEVER feel better. The thing is, I did feel better, and that darkness made me believe things that weren’t true. Your darkness is lying to you too.   

It would NOT be better if you died. It would hurt a lot of people. Suicide destroys those that are left behind. It creates a wound that doesn’t heal.  As a psychotherapist, I saw firsthand how a suicide of a loved one changes everyone forever, and the pain never goes away.  

I know SO many people who have been inside that darkness and made it through to find the biggest joys of their life after.  YOU can heal, too, but you need to tell someone how you feel. 

Tell someone. 

There are also amazing people on the other end of suicide hotlines. Call, text, or chat 988 and you will be connected to trained counselors at the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, always available 24 hours a day. You can talk to someone who truly cares and has likely been there themselves and is now on a mission to help you find your light again in the darkness.  They truly do care, and they know that it can get better. Let someone else believe it for you, even if you don’t. They know it’s true, and so do I. It does get better. Just hold on and let someone help you.  Give it time so you can see that darkness doesn’t last forever. It really doesn’t. There are little moments of joy for us to experience all around us.  

I didn't feel any joy when I was in my darkest moments.  The things that used to make me feel good didn’t. It was scary thinking I wouldn’t ever feel good again.  But then, with support, I started having little moments of good again.  Maybe it was in the taste of ice cream, looking into the beautiful face of my pets, connecting to a tree, or the sun on me on a cool day. I started recognizing that I could feel a bit of good in little things like that. So I just concentrated on those little moments. Then I started purposefully giving myself those moments. I’d watch the sunset or observe the sounds of birds in nature, the way the leaves moved in the wind, or a little ladybug.  I’d look for those little moments, and they would soon become more and more.  

I also told people how I felt and told them it was serious.  I called the suicide hotline more than once during my hardest moments, and they got me through those moments. 

Slowly things got better bit by bit until I found myself feeling true joy again. 

We know that getting help works because you receive strength from others when you have lost yours.  You are not a burden. You are giving someone a gift to be able to help you because it feels good to help others. 

The light is coming. I know that for sure. It came for so many people I know who have been there and for me. Your light is coming.  

Please tell someone.

They’ve even made it super easy to reach someone 24 hours a day. 

If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide, you are not alone, and there is help. Call, text, or chat 988 and you will be connected to trained counselors within the United States at the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, always available 24 hours a day, and it’s free and confidential. You can even be anonymous if you prefer.  

Internationally, you can find suicide hotlines in your country at the International Association for Suicide Prevention

Plus, for long-term support,  here's a directory if you want to find a therapist or healer who is also an HSP.  

I made it through the darkness, and you can too.  We get to step into our light again when we make it through.  You are needed in the world, and one day you can help remind someone else that their light is coming too. 

I hope that by sharing my story, I can save a life. What helped me was learning about high sensitivity. so I understood why I was experiencing the world the way I was, getting tools to reduce the challenges, and spending time with other kind-hearted, sensitive people.

Because social media can often be quite negative and overwhelming for many sensitive people, I’ve created the private Sensitive Empowerment Community to spend time together in a positive, safe, inclusive space. Within the community, we also offer the Spiral Up group to help HSPs overcome depression and find healing and belonging so that they can thrive. You can find the community and many resources to help sensitive people thrive in a world not set up for our sensitivity levels at www.JulieBjelland.com.

If you know someone that might be struggling, please share this information with them. We rise by lifting each other up. ❤️

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Julie Bjelland, LMFT

HSP Psychotherapist specializing in high sensitivity, the author of The Empowered Highly Sensitive Person, and founder of The Sensitive Empowerment Community. Her HSP Podcast ranks top 5% of most shared and followed worldwide. Julie's free webinars, online courses, and blog have helped millions of HSPs reduce the challenges of living with sensitivity in an overstimulating world. Her greatest joy is helping sensitive people discover their significant value and seeing them share their much-needed gifts with the world. Julie loves connecting in her Community and invites you to join this positive, inclusive, sensitive family. Explore her resources and learn how her brain training program reduces anxiety in the first two weeks at JulieBjelland.com (she/her)

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