Supporting Yourself Through Tender Emotional Pain as a Sensitive and Neurodivergent Person By Julie Bjelland, LMFT

Sometimes something happens—a harsh word, a moment of injustice, feeling misunderstood or rejected—and we’re left feeling tender. And not just emotionally. It’s something we feel in our bodies.

Sometimes it can leave us feeling extremely wounded, even if nothing was said out loud. The pain might be invisible to others, but inside, everything feels heightened, raw, and heavy.

This is a very real experience for sensitive and neurodivergent people.

We often process emotional experiences deeply and intensely. Our nervous systems are wired for high attunement. That means when something emotionally painful happens, it can activate a full body response, especially if it touches a core wound like not being believed, not feeling safe, or thinking we’ve disappointed someone.

In moments like this, our bodies may go into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.

Even when the threat isn’t physical, the nervous system doesn’t always distinguish between emotional and physical danger. It just responds.

You might feel

• A tight chest or shallow breathing

• Nausea or a knot in your stomach

• Your heart racing or pounding

• Shakiness, dizziness, or feeling disconnected

• The urge to run, hide, fix everything, or completely shut down

This is your body doing what it is designed to do. It is trying to protect you.

But when emotional pain lingers in the body, it can be confusing. You may feel like you are overreacting or wonder why something small feels so big. It is not too big. It makes perfect sense.

What you are feeling is real.

Emotional pain is pain. The nervous system does not care whether it came from a physical injury or a perceived rupture in safety. It responds either way.

So how do we support ourselves through it?

Think of how you would care for someone you love if they came to you crying, tender, overwhelmed. You would not push them to get over it. You would offer kindness, softness, presence.

That is the same care you deserve.

Here are a few ways to tend to yourself through emotional pain:

• Place your hand on your heart or your chest. Let yourself feel the warmth and pressure.

• Get under a weighted blanket or wrap yourself in something cozy. Let it feel like a hug.

• Make something warm. Tea, broth, or a soft meal. Warmth can be deeply calming.

• Take a warm bath or shower. Let the water reset your senses.

• Lay in the sun or near a window. Let natural light soothe you.

• Turn down the noise. Dim the lights. Let the world soften.

• Speak to yourself with love. Say things like:

  “It makes sense that I feel this way.”

  “I am allowed to feel what I feel.”

  “I will care for myself with love through this.”

  “I do not need to rush my healing.”

You are not broken for feeling deeply. You are not too much.

Your tenderness is a reflection of your depth, your awareness, your care.

And that tenderness deserves to be held with compassion, not judgment.

Let this be your reminder that your emotional pain is real, it matters, and you are worthy of the same gentleness you would give to anyone you love.

🌱 Reflective Question:

• What does your nervous system need most right now?

• How might you offer yourself the same compassion you would give a loved one?

• When was the last time you paused to tend to your emotional pain with gentleness?

• What helps you feel safe and soothed when the world feels too much?

More Support

Looking for more tools to support your nervous system? Explore my free resources here—designed to help you navigate the world as a sensitive and neurodivergent person.

You don’t have to navigate this alone. Keep returning to your breath, your body, and your inner wisdom—and know there’s a whole community here to walk beside you.

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Julie Bjelland, LMFT, is a licensed psychotherapist, author, and founder of Sensitive Empowerment. She is known for developing innovative, easy-to-implement tools that help balance the sensitive nervous system, reduce challenges, and empower individuals to excel in their unique talents. Julie has created a global hub of support, including online courses, the Sensitive Empowerment Community—a nurturing sanctuary for sensitive and neurodivergent individuals—a globally top-ranked podcast, articles, free webinars, and more. Her passion is helping to create a world where differences are embraced as strengths and celebrated. Learn more at JulieBjelland.com.

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